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2.0.1.7

“She believed she couldn’t so God did.”

To describe 2017 as the most eventful year of my life is probably still understating. I’ve been stretched far beyond my capacity – both in the best and worst ways. And here I am, somehow still standing, thankful for everything that has happened and for everyone who’s been there through the seasons.

Again, God showed His faithfulness in many different ways, as He always did.

So thank you 2017, you have refined me well.

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Reflections on my ‘twenty seventeen’

Where do I even begin?

2017 has definitely gone by fast. Real fast. It feels like I was just starting my first day at the beginning of 2017, and here I am now at the first 2018.

Living in a busy city. Facing the first surgery. Working in a new office. Surrounded by new group of friends.

It’s crazy to think how one year can take one person from a pathway leading somewhere to another pathway leading elsewhere. It’s crazy to think how one year can transform someone from an old version of oneself to one who is better and stronger than one was at the beginning of 2017. It’s crazy to think how one year can contain so much memories : the good, the bad, and everything in between – that we all can cherish and learn from for the rest of our lives. And well, it’s crazy to think how the year can bring in a new perspective on life and prepare us for the year ahead of us.

2017 was not an easy year for me, but it sure was a fruitful one. Lots of lessons, tons of memories, heaps of joy, and everything else. As we are approaching the end of the year, I would like to share with you all one lesson I learned throughout the year.

‘Life is full of unexpected things.’

If you ask at the beginning of the year my plan is to move to work, and after I got the job that I want, suddenly I found something else inside my body. There is a cyst of 17 cm inside my body and because of that, i lost the job that i wanted so much. Finally, I have to face the surgery for the first time. And thank God, all went well. I know that He is in control.

Right there and then, I realized life is full of unexpected things that catch us off guard, be it big or small. Unexpected things can come in many form : rejections, broken things, devastating news, unpleasant illness, life-changing circumstances, major decision, you name it. They may seem random, but I’d like to believe they are nothing close to some random events and rather, something that is divinely placed in our path. For a reason.

I learned that I don’t have life figured out. And I thank God that I don’t. Even though these life experiences seem like unexpected events to me, I know that these major changes are never a surprise to Him, it has always been this way all along. As I enter 2018, I am welcoming all God’s unexpected things in my life – unexpected things of grace. Though it may not turn out the way I want it to, I believe that these interruptions can take me to places I have never imagined before.

I’m thankful for God’s enabling grace that has carried me throughout one year, and am confident that this same grace will carry me through the upcoming year.

As we stand at the first day 2018, let’s be grateful for everything that passed. Let’s look forward for 2018, and get ready for the unexpected. May we plan well, but acknowledge that nothing is ever set in stone. Unexpected things will happen, life can take you on another route, but take it for what it is, those interruptions are divinely placed.

Open our eyes once again.

Dream again.

Wonder again.

Smile again.

Believe again.

Play again.

Stand up again, and again, and again.

Because He can do it.

Again.

The best is yet to come.

2018. Bring it.

You are up for another roller coaster ride – but trust me, it’ll be a good one!

“The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases;
His mercies never come to an end;
they are new every morning;
great is Your faithfulness”

Lamentations 3:22-23

“This is what GOD says, the God who builds a road right through the ocean, who carves a path through pounding waves, The God who summons horses and chariots and armies— they lie down and then can’t get up; they’re snuffed out like so many candles: “Forget about what’s happened; don’t keep going over old history. Be alert, be present. I’m about to do something brand-new. It’s bursting out! Don’t you see it? There it is! I’m making a road through the desert, rivers in the badlands. Wild animals will say ‘Thank you!’ —the coyotes and the buzzards— Because I provided water in the desert, rivers through the sun-baked earth, Drinking water for the people I chose, the people I made especially for myself, a people custom-made to praise me.”

‭‭Isaiah‬ ‭43:16-21‬ ‭MSG‬‬

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Are you the person who you are looking for, is looking for?

Many times in our lives, we are so caught up in searching for our ideal partner. But have we ever thought of this, am i the person who i’m looking for is looking for? are you?

Each and every one of us has our own criteria and expectations of an ideal person whom we want to be with. and maybe you have found the right person, or in normal cases, have not. But the question is you should ask yourself are — do that person really want you? have you met his definition of “ideal”?

Now, you must be thinking 💭 💭

But that’s alright, as time goes by, you will discover what is his orher definition of ideal. And if it really makes sense to you. The good news is, you can always try to be a better person. Changing because of what others think is bad. But changing because you can accept what others criticize and are willing to is undoubtedly good. you can always fix things up, but only if you are happy with it. Because it’s your life. Your choice and your responsibility to take.

There’s one tip from me. If you totally have no idea on that person’s (who you’re looking for) expectations, it is never wrong to search from the word of truth. 1 Chorinthians 13:4-9. yes, i believe you guys are familiar with the verses. It is about love. A perfect love.

“love is patient. love is kind.

it does not envy.

it does not boast, it is not proud.

it is not rude.

it is not self-seeking.

it keeps no record of wrongs.

love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.

it always protects, always trusts.

always hopes, always perseveres.”

This may look like a whole lot pile of things. but, this made me realize how big is God’s love for us. He is love. and when you live in Him and He lives in you. His love will show up in your life. People will start to see you in a different way. People will see you as a you full of love that is illustrated in the verses above.

LOVE. A four letter word, it is indescribably powerful in our lives. It has the power to change us. It has the power to make us a better person. And that love happens to be our Almighty God.

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Things about ‘a girl’

she may not be your dream come true, she may not be the shooting star you’ve always wished, but she will always try to be that one girl you’ve always needed.

• She won’t mind sleeping a little bit later just to talk to you, the guy she’s been in love with

• You’ve always been in her prayer

• She would call or text you, in her busiest time, just to know if you’re doing alright

• She would never get mad at you, because she never wants to hurt your feeling

• She may get jealous some times, but never get it the wrong way, it means she loves you a little too much

• She hates waiting, but when it comes to waiting for someone she loves, she won’t care

• She can be your best friend and your lover at a time

• She always wants you to be happy, even if she is no longer the part of it

• She always wants you to find a reason to smile, even if she is no longer the reason

• She may fake her smiles, but never her tears and feelings

• She remembers every little thing about you

• When you’re near, her heart beats faster and slower at the same time

• When you talk to her, she can’t seem to stop smiling

• When you hold her hands, her heart melts like never before

• When you laugh, it warms her heart

• When you cry, it bleeds her heart

• When you’re away, she’ll never stop loving and missing you

• When you leave her, you take parts of her, and her heart with you

• She loves you for who you are, not for how you look

• She loves you in and out

• However sweaty you may get, she won’t mind to give you a warm hug

• However annoying you may get, she can never get mad

• She never forgets every little thing she’s done with you

• She never forgets the times that bring smiles to her face

• She never forgets the one that flies her high, and it’s you

• She never forgets her anniversary date

• She loves the way you call her name

• She loves you! 🖤

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… for those who fear him have no lack

“… for those who fear him have no lack!” – Psalm 34

“The young lions lack [food] and grow hungry, But they who seek the LORD will not lack any good thing.”

PSALM 34:10 AMP

In the midst of what I considered was a hard week, I was reminded of those words. And I began to wonder- if there is no lack in Him, why should I be living like I’m lacking strength, grace or peace? The greatest lie I could believe is that I need to earn something which I have already received freely and already have within. Thankful that there is no lack in perfect Love.

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A letter to my future spouse 🖤

I was thinking about you. I am thinking about you. And I will be thinking about you maybe some time before I sleep, work, or whenever. I can’t wait for the day when God brings us together. I don’t know when it will happen, or how it will happen, but I know that it will be at a perfect timing. Other possibility is that I might have met you, and I just don’t know that you are the ‘one’.

I have my history, you have yours. I have my weaknesses, and you have yours. Whatever they are, I will accept all of them because our pasts are a part of our lives and they make us who we are today. We share a lot of things in common.

However, we may still fight, but it is done out of love. We may still argue, but it is done out of love. We may still criticize, but it is done out of love. We will have ups and downs throughout our adventure together, but at the end of the day, we can find ourselves holding each other’s hand – overcoming all obstacles together and depending on God every step of the way.

Well, it’s true that there’s no ‘perfect’ love in the world other than God’s love for us. That is why our relationship is grounded by His love. Because really, until we can fully understand God’s love for us that surpasses our knowledge, we cannot genuinely love others at times when all the unpleasing circumstances come in our way. (And yes, warning number one, I can be unpleasing sometimes. Just sometimes.)

I am looking forward for the things we are going to do together: waking up every morning with you by my side, reading the Word together as we encourage each other at all times, having little sweet conversations over dinner every night you come home from work, cuddling on the couch doing nothing when the TV is on and we don’t even have any idea what we are watching, supportingand cheering for each other when things look a little rough, and maybe one day, sending off our children to their first day of school?

As I am writing this letter, I am continually praying for you. Praying that you will love God more than anything or anyone else in the world, including me. Praying that you will grow into a man of God, picking up your cross as you faithfully walk with Him. And I am praying that you are also praying for me

I am excited to grow old together! Are you? ☺️

Love,

Your future spouse

ps : I will understand if someday you have to cancel our anniversary dinner date because you have other responsibilities in church that day. But, I am warning you that you have to make up for it!

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Patah Hati

Seringkali kita mendengar kata ‘Patah-hati’ dan itu adalah hal yang wajar. Dari waktu ke waktu, kita bisa menemukan orang akan menghancurkan hati kita. Ijinkan saya berbagi dan memberitahukan bahwa patah hati bukanlah sebuah masalah kecil. Kadang, hal itu bisa menghancurkanmu dari dalam. Bukan hanya sekadar kesedihan belaka, tapi ini adalah tekanan yang cukup besar yang akan mempengaruhi kamu secara signifikan. Bisa mengubah cara kamu berperilaku di masa depan, dan bahkan bisa menjadi peristiwa traumatis.

Banyak orang menanggapi patah hati dengan mencari sumber kebahagiaan lainnya. Padahal, hal tersebut hanya kebahagiaan yang sifatnya sementara, seperti mabuk, minum obat-obatan terlarang, bunuh diri, dll. Tapi percayalah, kalau kamu melakukan itu, kamu hanya melarikan diri dari kebenaran. Kamu tidak berbeda dengan seorang pengecut dan bahkan akan lebih tak terelakkan untuk diabaikan.

Terkadang, orang akan menyalahkan Tuhan atas apa yang terjadi pada mereka, atau bisa jadi muncul rasa pahit dan menunjukkan kebencian kepada-Nya. I won’t judge, I think this is a natural reaction. It is called being a human. Tapi, itu salah. Jangan menyalahkan Tuhan. Tuhan tidak menghancurkan hatimu lho, tapi manusia yang melakukannya. Namun, terkadang Dia mengizinkannya untuk kebaikan dirimu sendiri.

  “A heart break is just a blessing and protection from God. It is just His way of letting you realize that He saved you from the wrong one.”

Saat cinta itu hilang atau pergi, bisa disebut itu kejam. Mungkin kita tidak menginginkan hal itu terjadi. Atau, mungkin juga kita tahu akan lebih baik jika cinta itu pergi. Tapi kita tidak bisa menyerah begitu saja. Saat cinta meninggalkan mu, hal itu pasti sangat menghancurkan hatimu,  dan menciptakan luka yang menurut mu tidak akan pernah sembuh. Tapi terkadang kamu tidak menyadari bahwa kamu memiliki Tuhan yang luar biasa mengagumkan yang bisa menyembuhkan semua luka dan rasa patah hatimu. 

He heals the broken hearted and binds up their wounds. –Psalm 147:3

Sekarang saya tahu, jika Tuhan membiarkan seseorang yang benar-benar kamu cintai meninggalkan dan menghancurkan hati kamu, Dia sedang mempersiapkan tempat bagi orang lain untuk tinggal di dalam hati kamu. Seseorang yang tidak akan pernah meninggalkan kamu, seseorang yang sempurna untuk kamu, seseorang yang menerima kamu apa adanya sebagaimana kamu diciptakan. Seseorang yang akan melengkapi kamu, seseorang yang dari Tuhan, dan seseorang yang jauh lebih baik dalam setiap aspek dari mereka yang meninggalkan kamu. Kalau kamu memiliki iman kepada Tuhan, hal itu akan terjadi. Percayalah kepada-Nya dengan segenap hatimu, biarkanlah Dia yang mengendalikan dan mengambil alih hidupmu.

Atau mungkin, dia adalah orang yang tepat untuk kamu, tapi itu tidak terjadi pada waktu yang tepat. Dan siapa yang tahu kapan Dia akan membatalkan hubungan kalian? Jadi kalau dia meninggalkan kamu, tetaplah percaya pada kehendak Tuhan dan jalan-Nya. Kalau memang dia adalah orang yang tepat untuk kamu, dia akan kembali dan takdir akan membawa kalian berdua kembali bersama. Tapi kalau hal itu tidak terjadi, bersiaplah untuk seseorang yang jauh jauh lebih baik yang sudah Tuhan sudah siapkan. Segala sesuatu yang terjadi pasti ada alasannya, dan saya tahu bahwa waktu Tuhan itu selalu sempurna.

Alasan lain mungkin Tuhan ingin mendisiplinkan kamu. Ibrani 12 menyatakan, Tuhan mengasihi kita, Dia ingin mendisiplin kita. Seperti yang kita semua tahu, disiplin bukanlah proses yang menyenangkan. Tapi… itulah yang membentuk kita menjadi orang yang jauh lebih baik.

“The Lord disciplines everyone he loves; he punishes everyone he accepts as a child.”

Hebrews 12:6 ERV

Mungkin ketika kamu bersama dengan orang itu, kamu tidak menyadari bahwa kamu tidak menempatkan Tuhan sebagai yang utama dalam kehidupanmu. Atau, mungkin ada jarak antara kamu dengan Tuhan, mungkin kamu beralih menjadi seseorang yang berbeda, dan Tuhan mau untuk kembali ke jalur semula. Jadi, Dia membiarkan dan mengijinkan orang yang kamu cintai menghancurkan hatimu. Dan kemudian pada saat kamu merasa tertolak dan tidak berdaya, Dia ingin kamu menemukan kembali cintaNya kepadamu. He wants you to realize that He alone, is enough for you. Dia ingin kamu mengerti dan menyadari bahwa cintaNya tidak pernah gagal, Dia tidak akan pernah menghancurkan hatimu, dan tidak ada cinta lain yang serupa dengan cintaNya. It is BIG, constant, unchanging and beautiful. Trust me, this is hard to take in, but sometimes you have to learn things the hard way, and it sucks.

Okay, bisa jadi mungkin saya belum menjawab pertanyaan-pertanyaan yang ada tentang patah hati dengan sempurna. Tapi ini sebuah awal yang baik, bukan? Sekarang kalau kamu mengalami yang namanya patah hati, ingatlah selalu bahwa kamu memiliki semua kekuatan untuk mengatasinya dan melaluinya bersama dengan Tuhan. Kamu bisa memulai sebuah hubungan, dan juga bisa mengakhirinya. Mulailah berdoa kepada Tuhan, mintalah supaya Dia mengisi tangki kekosongan di dalam hatimu, dan percaya Dia akan melakukannya. Karena hanya Dialah yang dapat mengisi kekosongan didalam hati kamu. Because GOD is LOVE.

“love is a funny thing, it has the potential to bring the greatest happiness or the most severe sorrow.”

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And when the wind blows hard, always think positive and keep smilling, because you know that its just passing by

Bermula dari pertengahan tahun 2016, ditengah-tengah rencana pernikahan yang sudah dipersiapkan, hubungan saya dengan pasangan saya break up.

Pada saat itu dunia rasanya runtuh, gelap dan pada saat yang bersamaan saya kehilangan yang namanya pengharapan. Pilihan saya saat itu adalah terpuruk dengan keadaan saya atau saya memilih percaya sepenuhnya sama Tuhan. And i choose to trusting God fully with all my heart, karena yang saya tau rancanganNya baik buat kehidupan saya meskipun saya juga tidak tahu alasan di balik kejadian ini.

Empat bulan setelahnya papa saya meninggal. Saat itu saya shock, sedih, tidak tahu harus berbuat apa, karena saya pun di masa itu masih berusaha untuk bangkit. Hari-hari pun saya lalui dengan berserah pada Tuhan sepenuhnya meskipun secara logika saya pun masih tidak percaya hal-hal tersebut terjadi. Pertengahan bulan januari 2017 saya dalam masa mencari pekerjaan baru, dan pada saat medical check up ditemukan bahwa saya ada kista sebesar 17cm dan beberap dokter menyarankan untuk segera di lakukan operasi. Di saat itu pulalah karena di tubuh saya di temukan ada kista, saya pun kehilangan pekerjaan yang saya impikan dimana sebelumnya saya sudah mendapatkan pekerjaan tersebut. Saya pun berpikir, kenapa begitu banyak challenge yang saya hadapi dalam waktu yang sangat berdekatan? Apa yang sebenarnya Tuhan sedabg kerjakan dalam kehidupan saya?

Date leader saya, Kaleb dan Ribka Lucman pernah berkata ‘Untuk mengubah keadaanmu, Tuhan cuman butuh sehari, tapi untuk mengubah mindset dan mentalitas mu, Tuhan butuh remind setiap hari.’ Taat saja dengan apa yang sudah Tuhan rancangkan meskipun sulit dan sakit. Iman itu percaya meski tdk melihat.. sooo percaya Tuhan baik meski keadaan berbicara lain.. and trust His love, move forward. Embrace His goodness and His promise.

Saya pun menjalani operasi kista saya, operasi pun berjalan dengan baik dan gak lama setelah itu saya mendapatkan telepon dari sebuah perusahaan yang pernah menolak saya dan mereka menawarkan apakah saya masih bersedia untuk bekerja disana? Saya pun akhirnya mengambil kesempatan yang mereka tawarkan dan mendapatkan kembali pekerjaan yang saya inginkan.

Di balik banyak badai atau kegagalan yang terjadi dalam kehidupan saya, saya justru bisa melihat God’s goodness, terutama melalui komunitas date, keluarga dan teman-teman terdekat saya, yang support saya secara luar biasa.

God indeed still in control even in the middle of the storm.

Meskipun terkadang kita tidak bisa melihat tangan Tuhan tapi kita bisa percaya hatiNya, dan seperti yang disebutkan di efesus 3:20 – Bagi Dialah, yang dapat melakukan jauh lebih banyak dari pada yang kita doakan atau pikirkan, seperti yang ternyata dari kuasa yang bekerja di dalam kita.

Trust that He is good, trust that no matter the cost, He is faithful to carry you.

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O Hello September

Sometimes “the sound from the inside” wonders and asks me a question which other people always ask me..

Hey, how could you be that strong and tough?

Through all of the hardest times in life

When dreams are broken and you have nobody to support, you still do your best.

When pressures are coming from outside and even inside the circle, you still be happy.

When people you’ve trusted the most betrayed you and there’s no one to trust, you still be patient.

When mind thought lots of super negative, crazy, and stupid things to do as stress relievers, you still be positive.

When soul is too tired to face all of those pressures, you’re still smiling

How could I do those things?

While I personally know…

I haven’t had that much power to do it.

Yes,

My heart is broken,

My mind is puzzled,

My emotion is chaosed,

My tear is dry, and

My energy is drained.

But how?

Despite all those bad things,

I still can see the lights, and

Surprisingly, I even feel my life is getting better each day.

Everything seems on the right time and right place.

When I thought I couldn’t handle it by myself.

When I thought it was impossible, God always says that it’s possible.

When I thought there was no way, God always proves that there is a way.

It’s just nonsense for me in many ways.

But these what I believe in.

Can’t thank you enough for all of God’s guidances in life ❤

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Be kind and compassionate 

Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you (Ephesians 4:32).

Spiritual healing is a process. We have to choose to heal and trust God, knowing that if we do what God, the Great Physician, asks – forgiving those who have wounded and damaged us – there will be a change, a good result, strength and wholeness. That means we can:

  • Forgive every time we feel anger, mistrust or bitterness. Instead of dwelling on the emotions that are eating us alive, we can dwell on all that is good (Philippians 4:8).
  • Stay in the present moment and think about the future. Instead of rehearsing old injustices and letting our lives revolve around the past, we can find a greater reward by looking ahead (Philippians 3:12).
  • Let go of the idea of our perceived power and focus.Instead, we can focus on God’s work in every person and on the power of the cross (2 Corinthians 12:10).
  • Stop trying to punish those who hurt us with anger and hate.Instead, we can let God deal with them (Matthew 18:21-35).
  • Stop trusting in ourselves.Instead, we can trust in God and follow His lead. When we do, He promises to direct our paths (Proverbs 3:5­-6).