From Holly Furtick’s sermon
Give what you want and you’ll get what you need
Three words in v. 38 that will revolutionize relationships:
GIVE and IT will be GIVEN
1. Give: not financially but relationally not financially such as serving, loving etc.. things we do in any relationship because there are times when we wish the other person would do something for us.
“I want them to call more.”
“I want them to be more sympathetic.”
“I want them to be more affectionate.”
A place to start: give what you want.
Jesus said, give and it will be given to you. Give the very thing you want.
Example: if you want affection, give affection. You want attention? Give attention. You want respect? Give respect.
It works not only in marriage but in friendships, with family members or at work.
Jesus rarely talks about feelings. He doesn’t say: give when you feel like it.
If you wait for the feeling to come to serve others then it will never come.
Sometimes you give out of obedience.
Jesus didn’t want to die on the cross but He did it out of obedience (Phil 2:8).
It’s not a rule or a formula to get something after you give it first (watch your motive!) but it’s a place to start. It’s the fastest way to get out of that self-pity (of not getting what you need); by looking around and see who I can bless by giving them what I’m needing.
Motives are important! If I’m serving to be served, if I’m giving to be given then I’m doing it all for the wrong reasons. Let’s check ourselves why we do stuff. What’s our REAL motive?
Do you announce what you do? “Don’t worry, I’m doing this for you! Okay, I’m doing this!”
That’s not giving, that’s trying to control others (to make them appreciate you or thank you or acknowledge you or notice you and think that you’re great).
God really cares about motive. He’s really into motives and He rewards us according to our motives (which is both the good news and the bad news).
2 Kings 4:8 — story about the Shunnamite woman who was rich and made a room for the prophet Elijah in her house to stay in.
Her motives were pure, she simply wanted to bless the prophet. When Elijah asked what he could do for her, she said ‘No, I’m good.’
She saw a need and gave out of her abundance.
Sometimes we give out of obedience (because we don’t feel like it), other times we see a need and we’re excited to be able to give/help.
Either way, as long as our motives are right, we would be rewarded.
Which brings us to the second word: IT.
God is our Heavenly Father who sees us and promises to reward us but what is that “it” that will be given to us?
It = what we need.
God knows exactly what we need today (acceptance, affirmation, encouragement, a miracle, letting go of smth etc).
Sometimes “it” is the very thing that I gave. Other times,when you give, God fulfills a deeper need inside of you. He gives you something that you may have given up on a long time ago.
(This happened to the Shunnamite woman. She got a son! Even though she already gave up on having a child.)
Sometimes He gives you something that you didn’t even know you needed!
“Access something you didn’t know you had because you did something you didn’t want to do” – Steven Furtick.
Her example: the Dutch woman who was tortured by the Nazis, her family was killed by them. When she released forgiveness to the guard that abused her, it was so hard for her to do but she prayed to God and said that she could physically lift her hand to shake that man’s hand but God, please supply the rest.
At that moment, when she decided to shake the man’s hand and forgive him, she felt God’s love like never before and it was something she never knew she needed.
God is the giver.
True fulfillment doesn’t come from our relationship with others but with our relationship with God.
He may bless us/work through others but only through our own relationship with God will we get fulfillment.
When you’re serving others, you aren’t serving people but you’re serving God himself.
He is the one that gives us the strength to serve and He is the one who rewards us.
When you feel lost and unappreciated, if you focus on what God is calling you to do (big or small) rather than waiting for someone to notice you or thank you or affirm you, your reward for giving to others come from Him andnot from them/those people.
So if you give so that others would see you or need you then you’re missing the whole point because the reward is much deeper than that.
If you truly understand that the one you’re serving is God, you can be set free from the need to be noticed by others.
Then you can fold that 100 pieces of laundry without being thanked, then you can go the extra mile for the friend who’s always asking for favors, then you can affirm others because it’s life-giving and ultimately, you’re doing it for HIM.
“Do what you can with what you have where you are” – Theodore Roosevelt